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Jamie Dee

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About jamjars

Where the hell am I supposed to begin? I suppose I’ll describe myself as it flows from my head, like a trail of thought so you can get an honest depiction of how I perceive myself. I’m Jamie Ryan Dee, age 18 from a small city in the Northeast of England that you’ve probably never heard of. I’m extremely open-minded but wish everyone else were too. People seem to think that I’m arrogant and conceited but I can assure you I’m the quite opposite. Although I may seem self-assured and content over the Internet, in reality I would kill for a confidence boost. When meeting new people, I’m held with the unbearable thought of ‘they already hate me’ so I undergo this repetitive pressure to attempt to justify myself as the nice person I am. People constantly ask ‘How do you deal with so much hate?’ and the answer, for me, is pretty simple. It comes with time and experience. Over the last year, I’ve established a great understanding of why these appalling people leave hate and the best ways to deal with it. Obviously, it’s not the greatest feeling in the world to read unpleasant things about yourself from people you’ve never spoken to but I will never attempt to please those who will never be pleased. If the person saying it doesn’t matter, why should it matter what they say, right? Lastly, as cliché as this is, ‘if someone’s trying to bring you down, it’s evidently because you’re higher than them’. I will always fail to comprehend how people have these contrasting extreme opinions of me. How one person can completely ‘love’ me and the next can downright ‘hate’ me. I find impolite, ignorant cunts intolerable. In contrast to my previous descriptions of I, at the moment, I’m not quite certain of my feelings and perspective on life. Things are a little ambiguous at this point in time, so I probably should of delayed writing this. Speaking of delay, I probably procrastinate way too excessively. Constantly putting things off. I don’t get enough sleep; I don’t eat enough of the right food. I drink too much coffee and sometimes I’m distant and isolated but that’s probably adapted behaviour to protect myself. I drag through the week in hope of a satisfying weekend. I plan on going to a college in a different city, fresh start and all that shit, blah blah. Regarding myself, what you see probably isn’t what you get. I hate arrogance; it’s the biggest turn off ever. I seldom make friends on the Internet, I just don’t know who is genuine anymore.
I believe I am part of the minority of my age group that has matured a little too soon. A lot of people my age seem to be going out, getting really drunk all the time and it’s like I’ve already went through that phase. Don’t get me wrong though, I like to drink alcohol because it helps me gain confidence. I would love to be an outgoing, confident and completely content person, but I’m not. Instead I’m a shy, self-concious person in ‘real life’ around people I’m not familiar with. This sometimes holds me back from making new friends. Sometimes people ask me how I deal with loosing friends and getting hate, at the end of the day you just have to think to yourself ‘would I want to be friends with people that have such a disgusting personality anyway? no’. I think I’m extremely open minded and I would hate to judge someone without speaking to them first because I know what it feels like to be judged by people you don’t know. I don’t have any favourites. I don’t have a favourite colour, a favourite food, a favourite type of dress sense, a favourite type of music ect.. I think it’s because of how broad my taste is. I can be really happy and talkative and I can be really pissy and ignorant, I don’t choose to be that way. I’m far from wealthy but I’m not in the slightest ashamed, I look at it as an incentive to make something of myself. I have huge aspirations. I like to think of myself as a strong individual in many ways and like to maintain a positive persona, I can come across as if I don’t give a fuck, even if something is killing me inside. I find it difficult to let people in enough to trust them, but once you’re in, you’ll probably be a friend of mine for a long period of time. Most peoples main goals in life are: get a good job, get a nice house and car, get married and have kids, my goals are completely different. I don’t care about how rich I am, as long as I have enough to live life comfortably. I don’t care about how much my job pays, aslong as I end up doing something that I enjoy! and finally I just want to do everything I want to during life. I don’t want to be an OAP sitting in a rocking chair, stating all the things I’d wish I’d done when I was younger. Carpe diem! seize the day. Lastly, I hate relationships. Why tie yourself down at such a young age? there will be a point in your life when you’ll get married, have kids ect so be single, have fun and freedom while it lasts. You don’t need to be dead serious in love to cuddle up with someone and watch a film with them, save yourself the heart break. it’s been a while since i’ve thought about how i can put myself into words. i can’t fully describe myself to you, but i can be honest and give you a rough impression of my personality, that’s if you’re reading with an open mind. i’m generally a positive character, but i do have my downfalls, like everyone else. i’ve given up trying hard to please everyone, defend myself and trying to make people be friends with me. i’ve learned that life will naturally take its course. i went through dark times of hatred and depression but i can honestly say i’m now a stronger person. i have big aspirations which seems to be unusual in my home town of sunderland. i want to move away and make something of my life, i don’t want to stay here and watch the same boring people grow old. i’m not being big headed here, but some people seem to think a lot of me. don’t ever think i’m better than you, because i’m not, i’m equal to everyone else. i’ve came from a shit background but i learned to live with it, it wont stop me from making a decent life for me and my future family, i will break the cycle of council houses, benefits and just managing to get by. i remember the time when there was just me and my father living together, he was so poor that we had to walk around a mile each week to go get to ‘aldi’ for our weekly shopping. i’m not ashamed that i’m not wealthy, it just gives me the sheer motivation to try harder to finally have a decent, happy-go-lucky life. i like to maintain a strong persona, whining on about my problems isn’t going to solve anything, although, if i’m honest, i do like attention. in life i’ve lost a lot of friends for accepting myself, wearing what i want and listening to the music i love ect. but on the whole: it’s helped me feel comfortable in myself and move on and make new friends with the same interests. if your friends can’t accept you for who you are then seriously, who will? i love to be organised but fail as i have a lack of enthusiasm. you will be lucky to see my bedroom floor the majority of the time. i can be a very loving and affectionate person. i adore making people feel better about themselves because i know what it’s like to hit rock bottom and hate yourself. i let certain people into my life too easy. i give people trust without thinking and that usually back fires on me. i get scared of this thing called ‘love’, i don’t want to settle down with someone this young, i just want someone i can have a good time with, can smile with and make memories with. i may have alot of followers but please don’t think that makes me arrogant, it just makes me feel lucky. after reading this i hope you haven’t formed too much of an opinion on me as i’d rather you find out what i’m like for yourself, after all I’m just an average boy.

Name

Jamie Dee
Age

19
Home

England UK
Currently
Physique

Slim
Height

5'9
Weight

125
Eye Color

brown/ hazel
Hair Color

brown
Piercings

Yes
Tattoos

Yes
Smoker

Socially
Drinker

Socially
Sexuality

Gay
HIV Status

Negative
Gay Role

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